I watch my heart disappear down her throat
and it’s the prettiest murder I’ve ever seen.
I kiss my blood from her gasping lips
after she’s done chewing. There’s no
other explanation - I must be mad.
A train station
and rain like cold pearls in my hair.
He bit my neck, hands hidden
under my raincoat, whispering
I want you, I want you again.
I only wanted him to let go of me
before we could fall in love.
Perhaps we already did.
Standing there in the rain:
I don’t know. I was young.
Your body is like a beautiful
temple, she says as I fling
the doors open for her.
We make love on the cold floor
her thighs smearing sweat over
the marble. I won’t wipe it up
after. I’ll slip in it, tomorrow.
Perhaps break my neck.
Love is a crime not yet committed
but my hands are dripping blood
everywhere. The car roars, too hard
too fast. This is what I want:
the smell of gasoline
cold air for my face
dirty fingers under my skirt.
You have to die of something, they say.
Oh, I’ll do it, a thousand times over:
stick my fingers into jars with scorpions
laugh after, like slaps of gunfire. This is how
the universe came to be: with a bang, not
a whimper, never that.